Sunday, March 30, 2008

Fresh Lemonade


Keeping a positive outlook is easy. It's easy when everything is going your way and only the most optimistic people surround you. For the rest of the time, we'll need a solid plan. We'll need to know how we can turn those sour lemons into cool and tasty lemonade. Simple. Cut open, hold over a glass and squeeze. Repeat until satisfied.

In between making all that delicious drink, you may also want to work on optimizing your mindset. There is an odd facet of optimism, and it's that the more difficult it is to maintain a healthy outlook, the more important it is to do so. When things turn sour the temptation will be to dwell in pity. You may know that no one's going to show up for your pity party, but the temptation to throw one will be there anyways. Feeling sorry for yourself is a lonely job.

Should you choose to avoid the pity party route all together, you'll have to be able to maintain a presence that affords you an acute awareness of your thoughts. You'll need to be able to recognize any mental shifts in the way of pessimism. This takes practice. The more you've practiced keeping an optimistic outlook, the more alert you'll be to any negative thoughts. Pessimism can become a natural way of life for those who don't practice this type of awareness. Some become so entrenched in pessimism that any hint of optimism is taken as an opportunity to become offended. Do you know anyone like this? The truth is that positivity just pisses some people off. They just can't handle it because it's not congruent with they way they've chosen to think about life. Optimism is taken as a threat to their ego.

Just like making real pitcher of fresh lemonade, the process of generating a healthy outlook will require a bit of concentrated effort on your part. Persistence will pay off. Knowing that every minute counts is key. When you're facing a tough situation, you can do yourself a lot of good by escaping the stress for even just a very small amount of time. Make it your goal to ease your mind for just five minutes. Take deep breaths while you mentally and physically relax. Don't worry about making your mind blank, because thoughts will come. Just focus on relaxing your mind. Ask for help from source, from the universe, from God, or whatever in helping you to relax. Hold this for as long as you can. This is called meditation, and if you're not doing it you're seriously missing the boat.

One of the great things about meditation is that it will bring you back to the present moment. When you're worrying about something that might happen, you're not living in the present moment. When you're dwelling on something that happened in your past, you're not living in the present moment. Anticipate the future and dwell in the past and when will you ever make any time for the now?

Every adversity you've been through has helped to make you who you are today. You won't negate that. Everything that you've gone through up until now has been part of what makes you unique in your own way.

In the same way that your struggles have helped to make you who you are today, any fun, relaxing, uplifting situations work to make you who you are in the process of becoming. The more you can create uplifting situations in your life, even for just minutes at a time, the brighter your situation becomes. No happy experience is wasted.

Your job in life will be to create as many good times for the greater good of all as is possible.

You'll only be able to produce good times if you're remaining active. Remaining active is of paramount importance when you're struggling with something. There will be no time in your life when consistent exercise will be more important than when you're struggling with grief. Apathy may be tempting, but its effects are insidious. Apathy can turn sadness into full-blown depression. Depression can lead to further illness, disease, or even worse. The tougher things get the more tempted you may be to give up on exerting yourself, but know that solace can be found in activity.

The speed at which you recover from hardship will be directly correlated to the rate at which you retain or increase activity.

You may become tempted during tough times to take a rest, and that's fine, but it's paramount that you get right back to doing what you do.

One of the best things you can do when trying to overcome grief or stress is to create new experiences for yourself. New experiences will help to shift your mindset away from what you don't want and towards what is new, exciting and interesting. Trying something you've always wanted to try can really do wonders in helping your to get yourself out of a painful rut. So take that class, try that sport, or take that vacation.

When you change what you are physically doing, you change what you are mentally doing. If you try enough new thoughts and actions, eventually you will not inhabit the same mind that was so rife with grief and stress.

Also, you may not know this, but alcohol is not actually an ingredient in fresh lemonade. That's right, you won't be needing any bews at all, so put the vodka away. Here's a tip that can save you a lot of grief: Don't drink when you're having a tough time. Sure, the temptation may be there, and we've been conditioned to believe that drinking relieves stress, but the truth is that alcohol is a depressant. When you're feeling down, the last thing you'll want to do is to load your body up with a depressant. This actually took me quite a while to figure out. Alcohol will not make you feel better, it will make you feel worse. If you drink heavily when you're sad, you're likely to slip into depression. One of the most direct ways to ward off depression is to stop putting depressants in your body. This is something that is so obvious once you've realized it, but it's easy to fall into thinking that a drink will make you feel better. It won't.

Living in the moment, increasing activity, and embracing optimism are all things that will help you in overcoming hardship. Hope will be your best friend. Just remember that, "When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change" ~ Wayne Dyer.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

The Happiness Project

I came across something on the internet called The Happiness Project by Alex Shalman, and found it to be of value. Basically it consists of 5 questions that you, the reader, are to contemplate and answer for yourself. You can participate in The Happiness Project by clicking here.
I found the idea of The Happiness Project to be interesting because happiness is by it's very nature an individualistic responsibility. Yet The Happiness Project approaches happiness in a communal way. Basically, the idea is that by encouraging other people to answer these questions for themselves, you possibly help them to explore and evaluate their own happiness with a critical approach that they may not have otherwise taken. By thoroughly evaluating your own happiness, you take the first step towards acknowledging responsibility for your own happiness. I’ll first list the questions that The Happiness Project proposes, and then I will offer my own commentary on each one.
1. How do you define happiness?
2. On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate your happiness now, versus when you were a child?
3. What do you do on a daily basis that brings you happiness? (and how consistent is the feeling of happiness throughout your day)
4. What things take away from your happiness? What can be done to lessen their impact or remove them from your life?
5. What do you plan on doing in the future that will bring you even more happiness?
Question #1. (How do you define happiness?)
- Happiness is a creation.
It is something that individuals generate for themselves. Most people think that they understand what happiness is, yet far too many people experience a scarcity of happiness. I feel for them. I really do. I can truly say that I know how they feel because I’ve been there before.
- Happiness is a responsibility. It's not a responsibility that will be enforced upon you by others, yet the consequences of neglecting it are harsh. It's an individualistic responsibility, never shared. You are responsible for your own happiness. If you lack happiness, you are to blame.
Think about it this way: If you are not responsible for your own happiness, then who is? If you blame him or her or this or that for causing you to be unhappy, then who ultimately decides if you will be happy? I can’t decide that you will be happy anymore than you can decide if I will be happy.
The problem with attributing your happiness to the behavior or actions of someone else is this: If that person suddenly stops acting in such a way that is to your liking, you’re screwed.
An even worse plan is to let your happiness rely on any kind of possession or position. If you try to find happiness in a thing or a title, you may someday be faced with the reality that things and titles often don’t last forever.
True happiness is independent of circumstance. Happiness itself is the best source of happiness. It is something that is self-replicating.
Think of taking full responsibility for your own happiness as a happiness insurance policy of sorts. By deciding that you are responsible for your own happiness, you declare power over your state of mind. Lost or damaged items, positions, or titles will not deplete your joy, because you’ll have that insurance policy to protect you. It’s only human to experience sadness after loss, but you’ll have the power to pick yourself back up so that you may be joyful again.
Question #2 (On a scale of one to 10, how would you rate your own happiness?)
My answer is a 10. An absolutely perfect 10. Think I'm being unreasonable? Maybe I would be unreasonable here if happiness were not so relative, but it is.
Happiness follows a progression. If you're happy now, as in (10) type happy, you will continue to generate more happiness into your life, assuming that remains your continued life choice. If you want your happiness to be a ten right now, then do your best to produce a 10. Just be as happy as you can in this very moment, and your happiness will be a 10. If the best you can produce right now is mild to moderate happiness, but you make all the effort to be happy, then your happiness will still be a 10. It's all relative.
To rate my happiness a 10, or an 8, or a 4, or whatever, I’m really only producing a rating that is stuck in the context of my overall happiness. As my overall happiness increases, a 10 becomes better than it used to be. My goal is to be happier each day. Why not? Life is short, and to me, that sounds like a great goal. As I accomplish this, I continuously change the parameters of happiness in my favor.
Question #3: (What do you do on a daily basis that brings you happiness?)
Happiness creation can be achieved through the active production of positive thoughts. It's not possible to think good thoughts and feel bad at the same time. The more often you think good thoughts, the more often you’ll feel good. Simple.
If you want to take this to the next level and produce truly meaningful happiness, and not just warm cozy feelings, you will need to take action. The more optimized your thoughts, the more optimized your actions. When you think thoughts that are beneficial to you, you prime yourself for taking the action steps that will improve your life.
Question #4: (What things take away from your happiness, and what can be done to lesson the impact or remove them from your life?)
People's happiness often becomes compromised when they put themselves in situations in which their happiness relies too much on factors that are outside of themselves.
Happiness is something that is to be internalized. When you rely on external factors, you put your happiness at risk. The more you can internalize your happiness, the more secure in it you will be.
Also, when your happiness is not something that relies on factors that are external to your here and now, you will better able to dwell in the present moment. Living in the present moment entails not dwelling in a fantasy of possible future circumstances, or in the hardships of your past.
Take a moment and try to imagine how you will think about happiness when you are say, 90 years old. If you are not happy now because of some external factor(s) in your life, is it possible that you will regret your unhappiness when you look back on your situation at age 90? At age 90, is it possible that you will think that you wasted time by not just being happy in the situation you're in now? Will the factors in your life that you blame for your unhappiness seem petty to you? Will your insight be that you should have just been happy for the sake of happiness itself?
Question #5: (What do you plan on doing in the future that will bring you more happiness?)
The great thing about the type of happiness I've explained is that it is timeless. You can start approaching happiness in the manner I’ve described right now, and you can continue doing so for the rest of your life for continued benefit. Take the timeless approach, and internalize your happiness. You'll be glad you did.

Monday, March 10, 2008

7 Lessons From Heraclitus

7 Lessons From Heraclitus
By Garrett Davis

Heraclitus lived about 2500 years ago. Sometimes the greatest wisdom can found in the text of the ancient philosophers. Modern society may be great at building skyscrapers and inventing mobile gadgets that all of us geeks can incessantly check our email on, but when it comes to timeless aphorisms, Heraclitus is the man. I’ve taken the time to provide you with some of the wisdom that this great thinker inked over two millennia before your parents got the hots for each other. Enjoy.

The sun is new
again, all day.
The river
where you set
your foot just now
is gone –
those waters
giving way to this,
now this.
Interpretation:
Heraclitus writes much about fire and water. He was interested in these two things because they are ever changing, as is life in every passing moment. Just as a burning fire takes on a slightly new shape every time you glance at it, every new moment in time is new again, and ought to be appreciated for its novelty. We have been programmed for pattern recognition, which allows us to make sense of the world. However, the patterns that we recognize and categorize in our minds often lead us to forget that each new day is truly just that, a new day. In fact, every passing moment in time is just as new as a new day, or a new year, or a new decade. People often rely on major markers of time to set new goals, such as a new year. You don’t need a new year, a new month, or a new whatever to start something new. Start now. Now is a brand new moment in time! Whatever hurt you in the past was, well, in the past. Treat your past afflictions the way they deserve to be treated, like yesterday’s news. People hold on all too tightly to the pain that their past has caused them. Instead, practice letting go, and celebrate each new day that comes your way. Be like the fire, the river. New, and new again.

The Word proves
those first hearing it
as numb to understanding
as the ones who have not heard.
Yet all things follow from the word.
Interpretation:
Enlightenment is a journey. It's typically not something that happens in an instant. If you truly want to understand the essence of life, devotion to such an understanding is what is required. Be curious, study, listen and learn. Every time you are attentive, quiet, curious, and mindful, you gain a fuller and richer understanding of the source of things. As Wayne Dyer teaches us, particles themselves do not produce more particles. There must exist something working on a deeper level than that which we can readily observe that creates new ideas, circumstances and events. This something is referred to by Heraclitus as the word.

Those unmindful when they hear,
for all they make of their intelligence,
may be regarded as the walking dead.
People dull their wits with gibberish,
and cannot use their ears and eyes.
Interpretation:
Speak less and listen more. Study, learn, and be quiet. Wasting energy on gossip, blabber, and unmindful speech is not the way to enlightenment. Furthermore, realize that your beliefs are simply the byproducts of what you have repeatedly exposed your attention to. There are many different belief systems that have many different and valuable virtues. If you are an ardent adherent to any one mode of belief and refuse to let the views, opinions and interpretations of others in, you are only dulling your wits, not fostering wisdom.
Heraclitus went on to say that:

The poet was a fool
who wanted no conflict
among us.
harmony needs
low and high,
as progeny needs
man and woman.

Interpretation:
Differing worldviews are what make this life an interesting one to live. If everyone was the same, we would all be bored to death. When someone takes on a different opinion than you, they are granting you with an opportunity to observe and appreciate the very facet of life that makes life itself worth living. Everyday is new, and every person is different. Respect is what is called for.

Whoever cannot seek
the unforeseen sees nothing,
for the known way
is an impasse.
The eye, the ear,
the mind in action,
these I value.
Interpretation:
Innovation is the way to prosperity. Forward thinking is what is required if true progression is what is desired. If you are a business owner, or an aspiring entrepreneur, or someone looking to advance in your career, learn to think in such a way as to facilitate progression. Think to yourself: How can I offer more value? Listen to people, watch and observe, and practice mindfulness. Notice that there are lots of people doing much of the same. How can you take a different approach and offer a new service, product, or a new way of doing things that will be of benefit to others? By taking the known path, you take the easy way out. Instead, focus on innovation. Be a leader, not a follower. If you can do this, abundance and prosperity will follow. Remember, when you help others get what they want, you will in turn get more of what you want.

Men dig tons of earth
to find an ounce of gold.
Interpretation:
Things that are worth having are things that are worth working for. Oftentimes, the path that leads to the greatest reward is the path that is at first hidden. What is it that you are inspired to do in your life? This inspiration may not be obvious at first, or easily understandable by others. The gold that will be your dream’s attainment very well may be hidden, but digging tons of earth to get to it will be well worth the effort in the end. This may mean going back to school, starting your own business, or manufacturing and marketing an idea for an invention that you’ve had. None of these endeavors are necessarily the easiest paths to take, but that is because they contain the greatest reward in the end.

The mind, to think of the accord
that strains against itself,
needs strength, as does the arm
to string the bow or lyre.
Interpretation:
When your mind is straining against itself, you are allowing yourself to think harmful thoughts. Negative thinking leads to depression and low self-esteem. Depression and low self-esteem deteriorate your consciousness. Practicing mindfulness means monitoring the continuous thoughts that race through your mind. Recognize the thoughts that are harmful to you and replace them with beneficial thoughts. Thinking in this way takes practice and persistence. Your mind needs strength in order to do this effectively. You will gain this mental strength as you exercise mindfulness, just as one gains muscle strength from working out.